Back when he was a precocious 6-year old, David decided he wanted to learn a musical instrument in addition to the piano. The only thing his primary school had available at that time was a flute. So, David picked it up and gave it a blow. It made a sound. A sound that resonated through the room, indeed, through very fabric of the chilly Geordie atmosphere itself. And it was thus that David became the coolest kid in class. Think Ron Burgundy but with slightly less facial hair.
12 years later, David passed his Grade 8 Flute exam and set off into the world knowing that he was a certified alpha-male, one of those primal creatures who throughout the ages have been destined for success. Yes, that's right, he had become:
A Male Flautist.